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Thanks to the fine folk over at Fleshlight I have had not one but three Fleshlight Freaks sex toys recently added to my collection. These were sent free of charge in exchange for a fair and honest review.

I say MY collection,  but only one of the new toys I’ve received is really for me. The other two are male masturbators so I’ve duly been both audience and participant as my partner reports his experiences and feelings (tough job, someone has to do it, etc etc).

Anyway, here’s to it; the items I received are:

Here’s the review for the first item in the list, the Fleshlight Freaks Frankenstein Dildo. It comes in appropriately themed packaging, as you can see, bearing the Fleshlight logo. The dildo is inside a moulded plastic insert made for it, with another layer of transparent convex moulded plastic on top.

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Upon taking the dildo out of the package, my first thought was WOW, this is big. I mean it’s seriously huge. Not quite baseball bat, but hopefully looking at the photos gives you an idea of the size. If not, here’s my measurements of this beast:

  • Overall length: 10.5 inches
  • Insertable length: 8.5 inches
  • Maximum circumference (shaft): 6.9 inches (towards base)

The swamp green colour is not dull and pond-like as you might suppose, it’s actually a shimmering, almost sparkling mid green which matches the overall afterlife, Frankenstein style. This isn’t meant to be a pretty dildo. It’s probably not one that most would like to set out on their mantelpiece for show or have adorn their bookshelf or bedside cabinet to gaze upon its beauty for hours upon end. If you’ve a penchant for the ghoulish and gothic though, you’ll probably love it.

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The alternative style dildo has a textured surface which gives the impression of stitched together flesh along with a few nuts and bolts to the base. The base of the Frankenstein dildo is flat, and there are testicles to grab on to as you admire or sample the long length of the monster’s shaft.

The Fleshlight Freaks Frankenstein Dildo is made with good quality silicone so there’s no worry about it stinking of something dreadfully toxic or melting into a green goo too ghoulish to contemplate. You want your freak in one piece. As it’s silicone, you shouldn’t really use silicone lube with it as it can damage the material over time. There are lots of good quality water based lubricants available though – Fleshlight even make their own.

Using this dildo vaginally is a freaky size queen’s dream come true. It’s just blissful. I DID need lube with this dildo as it’s just so girthy and really is quite the beast – but once it’s in and you’re using it it’s just amazing. I haven’t dared to try it anally though, and even if I did I’d put a condom over it first so that the beauty didn’t pick up any lasting unwanted scents.

My man loves to watch me using the Fleshlight Freaks Frankenstein Dildo on myself and he likes to get involved too – there’s something that we find sexy about using what would be a realistic dildo (well it’s a penis, kinda, of Frankenstein) but which is so different to the run of the mill and let’s face it, oftentimes quite boring pinky or flesh coloured dildos out there. Did I mention it’s also massive?

There is just one thing that confuses me: this line from Fleshlight about the Frankenstein Dildo: “Dildo is intended for external use only.” Not saying that is an out and out lie, but I have never heard of a dildo being made that wasn’t intended for internal use before. That does kinda seem to be the primary purpose of a dildo, after all. I am supposing that this line is included on the site/packaging for some kind of legal safety. I used it internally and I’m fine! *twitches* (joke) 🙂

If you’d like to own and enjoy the freaky Frankenstein dildo yourself (GET IT) then you can buy your Fleshlight Freaks Frankenstein Dildo here at Fleshlight for Euro 79.95 which at today’s rates converts to approx £63.

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