Sure, sex toys are fun and you can find many shapes, sizes, materials and vibration power strengths to suit your anatomy and personal desires. Although I have reviewed thousands of sex toys here at Cara Sutra, I don’t want anyone to think that you can’t enjoy a great sex life without sex toys. That’s why I want to make this point clear.
You can have a fantastic sex life even if you don’t have any sex toys at all.
That’s it. No sales patter, no links.
Of course this will come as no surprise to most of you. Well duh, you’re thinking. Of course you don’t need sex toys to have a great sex life. Should be obvious, Ms Sutra. Yes, I agree. It should. But it’s so easy to believe promotional hype that we need something extra, something more, something powered in order to make sex better, last longer, feel more exciting. That we need an accessory or two or three or four, because if something’s good naturally then why can’t we make it spectacular by adding something else into the mix?
If you love sex toys and want to use them in your sex life then that’s your choice. It’s my choice too, 9 times out of 10. But that 10th time isn’t any less wonderful for the lack of them. It’s different. And I will go so far as to admit that it can feel closer and more intimate when there is absolutely nothing else but the feel of our skin together, rubbing over one another. Fingers entwined together or in his hair with the other round his cock. His hand around my throat while he plunges two fingers into my soaked pussy, excitement racked up from a day’s filthy foreplay over text or Skype. Taking our time over kissing, tasting each other’s natural taste rather than the cheap powder residue of chocolate body paint, or nauseatingly sweet flavoured lubricant with which we’re told to coat each other’s genitals. Just us, two people having sex. Sounds so simple. Sounds so perfect.
There are a lot of sex toys in this house. I work with sex toys, I write about sex toys, I’m in the sex toys industry. It’s difficult to get away from them, as if everywhere I turn I could look over my shoulder and see my stalker made up of bullet vibrators, silicone dildos and vibrating cock rings. I’m also a rebel and as soon as I feel like I should do something, that I’m obligated to do something, I don’t want to do it anymore. Call me a rebel. No go on, I like it.
That’s why I’m making a more concerted effort lately to get back to primal pleasure and leave the sex toys to one side. I’ll readily admit that his post is really a reminder to myself as much as a blog post to my readers. I’m not saying it’s easy to ignore the siren calls of the Doxy under the bed when I get to a certain point of the game. It’s hard to squeeze eyes closed against the neon pink of the iGino, which can bring me to orgasm much quicker and easier than doing it myself or trying to move his fingers exactly how I need them to go. But as much as sex toys are never a third party in our bedroom (or wherever we want to play), it’s lovely to feel that the sex toys are simply cuckolded voyeurs in the presence of our one-to-one coupling. Look: we can do this without you. You’re not needed, you’re simply left around for the time of my, our, choosing. You are not a requirement to a great sex life.
And it feels fantastic. To let go of sexual accessories and enjoy the natural heat of the moment, and his body, and him enjoying my body, and coming together for exploratory sex that doesn’t need anything else but us.
PS Although this post doesn’t follow the prompt for this week’s Wicked Wednesday (sorry Marie!), it is Wednesday and I actually wrote something, so here’s the link back to the meme 🙂