Pump Up The Pleasure

sex-dolls

After one of a few discussions with sex toy companies yesterday, mostly relating to whether there are any products I’d like to review, it occurred to me that there aren’t many reviews out there for sex dolls. I mused about this on Twitter and many seemed to think that my desire was for the luxurious, heavy weight or real doll styles such as the Fuck Me Silly masturbators by Pipedream. I was duly informed that companies probably didn’t want to send out expensive sex dolls free in exchange for a review.

To be honest, I wasn’t talking about the high end, expensive items. I wasn’t even angling for anything to be sent to me for free (I am capable of tweeting about sex toys without it being an unsubtle attempt to gain freebies). In fact, I was genuinely pondering out loud about the fact that there aren’t many reviews out there for sex dolls. What I said on the tin. Tweet. Whatever.
Yes, I mean those ticky-tacky-plastic-macky inflatable sex dolls which are often the punchline to jokes in pop culture. From Fawlty Towers to Fools and Horses, we’ve spent the last few decades taking a pop (sorry) at inflatable sex dolls and by proxy, the users of them. Who still uses inflatable or otherwise low priced sex dolls? Anyone?

It’s an interesting question, especially for me as I work with sex toys and adult products on a daily basis. Part of the reason for this site is to provide honest feedback and reviews for sex toys of all kinds. I have a man on hand who is able to use and give feedback on male sex toys and masturbators, as well as a male slave who enjoys prostate massagers and bondage sex toys. When talking about which products I think I should review next, I realised the one gap in my library and collection – sex dolls.


It was through musing aloud on Twitter that I came to speak with Innocent Loverboy, a sex blogger who honestly blogs his opinions and experiences of a sexual nature. Most deliberately not a sex toys tester, Innocent Loverboy provides a refreshing look at the thoughts and life of a sex positive, sex interested man outside of the sex toys reviews community. We decided to write a boy’s and girl’s point of view blog post about sex dolls and you can read his fab article here.

My wonderings quickly went beyond the fact that there don’t seem to be many reviews for sex dolls out there on the web. I mean blog reviews from sex toys testers around the globe, not comments on product pages of a sex toy website which may or may not be genuine. Is there a reason why sex doll reviews are rare? Are sex dolls simply unfashionable as sex toys or is there a deeper reason why men don’t like to use sex dolls? Is there a reason why I tend to think of sex dolls as female shaped and majorly for men to use? There are a few male-shaped sex dolls but not nearly as many, in my experience of writing thousands of product descriptions for the stock base of quite a few companies. If men barely like to use sex dolls, who are the women who buy and use them? Who are these people who still buy sex dolls – and why don’t they want to share their feedback about them?

I spoke to my partner about sex dolls, asking him whether he’d consider using one for the purposes of a review. His reply was along the lines of, ‘if I had to then I guess, but I’d feel silly’. So basically, he’d only do it for me, for the feedback, and he wouldn’t go out of his way to purchase one or use one purely for pleasure. I asked why.

As a man, what would put you off buying and using a sex doll?

He said there’s a few reasons, not really because society may see the dolls and their users as being the butt of some decades long joke, but more practical reasons. Here’s a few of his reasons:

  • I don’t buy sex toys anyway. (I then went on to get him to imagine he wasn’t linked to me, or the industry and didn’t have sex toys ‘on tap’.)
  • Sex dolls aren’t such a good shape to store effectively. They’re big and not very discreet.
  • The rest of the doll is unnecessary mass if I just want a wank.
  • I imagine that the rest of the doll gets in the way when I’d just want to get into the good bit.
  • They’re ugly.
  • I imagine the plastic as being quite uncomfortable.

I don’t mean to say that my man is representative of every guy out there. In fact he’s rather different to most men I talk to and I like that fact. However you have to agree that he makes some very valid points here.

Interestingly, he said society’s tendency to see the dolls and their users as something of a joke wouldn’t really affect his decision whether to buy/use them or not. He’s always been something of a goth so he’s used to being stereotyped and looked at strangely. (Love you!)

On a psychological level, I think that the attitudes that surround sex dolls and the presumed characteristics of their users must affect at least some men out there. What people think about a product, sex related or not, tends to have a bearing on how well sales go as well as how likely people will be to admit owning or using said product. Do you own flares? A Chris de Burgh love album? A copy of Fifty Shades of Grey? The products we admit to buying and owning stereotypes us in the eyes and minds of others, rightly or wrongly.

I don’t know whether sex dolls are unpopular, rarely bought and used or whether they’re simply the guilty pleasure and shameful secret of millions. For some reason though, they’re still manufactured and sold worldwide and it cannot simply be to function as the party piece at stag parties.

Sex doll lovers unite!

  • Do you use sex dolls or know someone who does?
  • Would you or they ever admit to it publicly, even on a sex based forum such as this one?
  • Are you guilty of stereotyping sex doll users negatively?
  • Are sex dolls really a 99% male based issue or are any women out there interested in buying a Blow Up Bertie?

Please leave your thoughts in the comments, I’m intrigued by this topic.

– Cara Sutra

4 Responses to “Are you guilty of slut-shaming sex doll lovers?”

  1. pvcvinyl

    Well, I am a guy who does use inflatable sex dolls from time to time. Since I have a fetish for PVC outfits, and to a lesser degree, vinyl inflatables, my inflatable dolls have seen a bit of action. Having said that, I do have to agree with your mate that they are inconvenient to store. Mainly due to the time to inflate and deflate. As for the stigma, I’ve never given it much thought. I will admit though, if I were to see someone buying one, I’d probably head home, and pull mine out and start having sex with my doll as I fantasize about what the doll they bought will be experiencing.

    If you want, you can hit me up for follow up questions. My Facebook handle is pvcvinyl.

    Reply
  2. Innocent Loverboy

    Great post – was good to share thoughts with you.

    I hadn’t thought of the slut-shaming aspect, but while musing on the topic myself I did come across a lot of the things your boyfriend came up with as well.

    One thing, however, was the storage: when I was considering using a sex doll, I had just assumed I could shove her under my bed with all my other sex things – I hadn’t factored in the deflation time, although I did steal the bike pump!

    Great comment by pvcvinyl above, too. Again, something I’d forgotten about was fetish; if you’re into that sort of material, then I do see the point of getting a sex doll or two, as it’s much more likely to get you off! Something you just forget to consider when you don’t have that particular fetish yourself, n’est-ce pas?

    So, good stuff overall. I just won’t be buying one (again).

    By the way, I do own a Chris de Burgh album. It was part of a “bad present” game my family tends to play; one of them was The Greatest Hits of Chris de Burgh on vinyl.

    Lady in Red‘s not on it.

    Reply
  3. Girl on the Net

    Bloody interesting question, Cara! I just asked my dude and he said “it’s because they’re portrayed as so comedy – they’re always seen on stag nights and other unsexy things. Plus I imagine they feel horrible.”

    Personally, I think the difficulty stems from a general issue I have around sex toys, which is that if it’s trying to be ‘realistic’, it has to really nail it in order to still be sexy. So toys that aren’t designed to look real (i.e. Lelo Soraya or something like that) are sexy, and can be so just as objects. But toys that are supposed to look like a real cock, or in this case an actual person, have to get way closer to the mark in order not to fail.

    I don’t think I’d ever shame someone for using them – whatever floats your boat, and all that! And I can definitely see the plastic sex dolls having an appeal to someone who has a specific PVC kink, like pvcvinyl above. I’d be surprised if one of my partners owned one, although mainly because I’ve never been with someone who could be bothered to inflate/clean/deflate something every time he wanted to knock one out =)

    Reply
  4. Cara Sutra

    Thanks for the comments.
    Yes, I hadn’t taken into account fetishes as I was just thinking/talking about sex dolls from the mainstream point of view. Sexual attractiveness of the dolls as well as cultural attitudes etc. A good point though. PVCVinyl, I’m here on Facebook if you want to hook up over there https://www.facebook.com/CaraSutrasPage 🙂

    Thanks ILB – I’m not sure we could get a doll under our bed as it’s quite low and I already have a ton of stuff under there (vibes, whips, restraints, charging leads etc)! I did used to own Spark to a Flame on CD… -shame-

    Hey GOTN, I agree, they’re usually in some parody or spoof sketch and seen as a joke by society at large as a result. I don’t mind sex toys which look like penises and I’d even consider owning a Fuck Me Silly as long as I could hug her and pet her and squeeze her and call her George. No wait. Anyway. There’d be a hot water bottle in there somewhere and possibly an MP3 player. I’ve just invented my own lonely nights lover with built in sound system! 😉

    Agreed on the cleaning aspect too. My bloke stands by the fact that the rest of the doll is unnecessary to the event and he just wants to ‘bang one out’ and be done with it. It’s the hole that counts! It’s bad enough having to clean out Fleshlights…

    Reply

Please share your thoughts!